Do not kiss but I will tell...

What's the worst date I've been on? Oh gosh. I have to confess I am a girl who has been on many dates back in my heyday i.e. 2-3 years ago. I actually loved it, dressing up, the nervous (awkward, the word is awkward) butterflies, location- (note: his choosing shows an insight into his character and taste) and finally the will he/won't he...

I can't say I have been on a truly awful date location wise. I have to say they've been rather adventurous. To the typical restaurants, cinema and bars to picnics in the parks, theatre/ballet, more food, museums, art galleries (I think I've covered them all- sorry if I forgot about your location if you are reading this dear Sir, I'm sure I had a splendid time...).

Most have been rather great locations but a worse date is the connection or should I say non-connection with someone. They could be a Brad Pitt lookalike, spend hundreds of pounds, look dapper, come with roses (do men still do this on dates?) but if you do not get along; you're fucked. Well perhaps not literally 'fucked' of course...

Sense of humour is very important in my culture. If he doesn't understand my sarcasm then there is literally no hope in hell. He may as well just pay for the bill and leave me to eat the food on my own to be quite honest, I'm sure I'll have a more enjoyable time.

So back to the question, my worst date? I'd have to say it was with this guy (positive start at least he was a male... For privacy reasons, I won't reveal his name, but let's call him Dave...) so Dave was fairly good looking, smart, older (not married/no kids), understood my sarcastic ways and everything. Perfect right? We had met before and been speaking for almost a year and finally, after all this time due to a long list of boring reasons which I won't bore you with today, we met up. Oh the anticipation! Oh the anti-climax...

Well the date was going well (we went to a trendy bar in Camden and he paid for everything) except two big flaws. His dress sense (lord in Himmel where do I begin?) and secondly and probably most importantly (as we could easily sort out the styling to fit to my taste...)

Secondly, the bigger problem was his taste in music. Not rock (rock I can work with) but heavy metal. HEAVY METAL. As soon as this was mentioned I was violated and completely lost all interest. I had horrid images that he'd drag me to a mosh pit (ballet flats or heels cannot survive in this environment) and we'd shout to Marilyn Manson and God knows what else. Further images, of his friends at a gig wearing more eye liner than me, worshipping this devil music came into mind and I almost cried. I can deal with any other genre except that!

Hell he could have said country music and I would have gladly got a pair of cowboy boots, hat and yeehaa'd my way to some Dolly Parton. He could have said cheesy pop and after initially questioning his sexuality I would have dug out my Top of the Pops/Smash Hits albums and happily grooved my way back into the 90s. But no. Just my luck. Heavy metal. Could you imagine if we had a mosh pit wedding type thing? Oh the horror.

He was a gentleman though, lent me his jacket as it was cold and asked for a kiss (why) and contacted me many times afterwards. I think he got the hint in the end and we never saw each other again (I still have his jacket). However, Facebook tells me he is happily in a relationship (no doubt moshing happily with) a lovely lass, so this pleases me greatly.

Thus far, that was the worst date I've been on but thinking about it, it wasn't all that bad just different interests led me to lose interest. Who knows what the future holds 'bad date' wise...

The best date I've been on? Oh well a lady never kisses and tells..

Beauty and her Beast.

In my old age I am now unable to survive the ordeals of a hangover appropriately (however that should be defined is another matter entirely) but I delve into the opposite way of my old age and act like a child. Needing to be mollycoddled, eating junk and today I decided Disney was the only cure. Beauty and the Beast is not my favourite Disney but it's in the top 5 and I am able to relate to it now more than ever! Listening to the songs the famous 'tale as old as time' and the one where she realises she is falling in love with the beast:

“There's something sweet

And almost kind

But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined

But now he's dear, and so unsure

I wonder why I didn't see it there before”

I actually had an epiphany. I could easily blame the after effects of wine and sambucca which by the way should have a Warning 'when consumed more likely to drunk text' label on it or it could have been a genuine epiphany- who knows?

I realised that some times we do look at someone we never noticed before and see them in a new light. We did not necessarily see them as a 'beast' as such but as perhaps something along those lines. Either a beast in looks, personality or just never considered them in that way. Perhaps the myth men (especially bad boys) cannot change. But perhaps, just maybe, they can? If, the beast can, why can't a human? Are we not capable of change? In my fragile state and not in the right frame of mind (clearly for the need to be mollycoddled) I replied to a text I had received three weeks ago which I had intended never to reply to. I thought in my Disney I.e delusional mind that perhaps this 'beast' was struck by lightning (by a storm which didn't happen by the way), he himself had an epiphany, or the petal of his rose was about to fall (I'll leave the suggested innuendo for your filthy imaginations) and he too, was capable of changing in nature.

“Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly”

So, something alone the lines of his shocking “apology” and the words 'nature' (too much thinking of the Beast's nature) and Disney infused optimism; I responded.

My alcoholic infected system failed to remind me the Beast was initially a beast/bad boy hence the reason of the curse in the first place, so probably after he turned back into a human, he returned to his natural beast-like (bad boy) self...

Hours later, cured from my hangover and back to my old cynical self (all signs of Disney fairy dust vanishing with a 'pop'), I realise he will remain a beast forever. Some (most) people are just incapable of change. Myself included.

*Mistake I noticed in the Disney: The candle-stick says the spell has been for ten years and the rose falls on his 21^st birthday which would mean the spell was done when he was eleven which a) can't be as he looks older in the beginning and painting and b) just unfair for an enchantress to do that to a horrid eleven year old even if he did deserve it*

Something kind of wonderful. [30.11.11]

Let us begin with our interpretations and impressions on definitions. By 'wonderful' I do no necessarily mean it in the positive way it normally entails. Can something not be amazing, grand, 'out-of-this-world'; wonderful, whilst being strange, contain negative connotations and something I do not have to completely agree with? Yes, it can, it might not be a universal wonderful experience but for its sheer existence in this universe, this makes it wonderful.

The reason I began with this topic is beause today I wanted to return my overdue library books (I've been taking books out of Hackney, Islington and Hillingdon libraries for over twenty years now and not once have I had a fine) but my local library was closed due to the teacher's strike and was surrounded by policemen. After asking one officer if all the libraries were like this and he replied that it was just this one. I took the bus to another library. This too was closed.

For fear of being late to work, I struggled with my bag, not at all practical for my four books; a huge cooking book, a large print copy of Eat. Pray. Love., Maeve Binchy's writer's book and a travel guide to Florence, (not to mention December's issue of Vogue and other contents of a lady's bag only kept to herself) and continued with my day. My anger increasing as my fine inevitably would.

My frustration only lasts about two seconds as I am in a confused, deja vu like state, whilst outside the Hackney Town Hall, again police and people striking. It reminds me of a few months ago when the empty streets were filled with the silent fears and looters during the rioting. Exactly the same spot but brought by different intentions, beliefs and methods. I am not going to give my opinion on either of these events as that is another story entirely...

But it is amazing to see the differences in people's behavious and reactions to these separate events. When in reality, on some level anyway, they are interconnected with themes such as teachings, money and power. In short it is something kind of wonderful.

Who knows, in years to come, what other demonstrations will take place in the exact same spot of the Hackney Town Hall, but I'm sure even if there are differences in people, our method of action, the underlying thread which strings us all together; will remain. This realisation is wonderful.

However, the weight of my books and increasing fine, is definitely not wonderful: in any sense of the word.