What you see is what you get.

For a long time I have tried writing something to update my Blog with. There are many drafts focusing on different topics sitting on my desk top or even hand written in my notebook but none compelling enough to bore you with.

Yesterday, I had a crazy experience where I ended up in A&E and was told I had suffered from a mild concussion and short-term memory loss. To say I was spooked out and terrified would be an understatement. Needless to say the doctor said I'll be fine and I just needed to rest which meant no work today, me being bored at home, thinking (A LOT) that resulted to writing.

I do not intend to go all gooey and oh my god I had a near-death experience on you as let's face it, I hate all that shit but I couldn't help but wonder about accidents and perception. Although my doctor had my date of birth in his face, as he was talking to me he was obviously judging me from how I looked. He said something which amused me 'I'll have to write you a sick note so you don't have to go to school tomorrow', I had to correct him that I work and he checked my information and realised how old I actually was and said 'oh wow you look younger.' The doctor's senses contradicted the truth which was staring at him in the face, which is what we as humans do, we naturally trust our senses and instincts even if we are uncertain or have the facts. For a second when I could not remember a certain action I had just done, I thought about imagine not remembering who you are and your life? Imagine all of your memories, family, work, friends, partner all disappearing in an instant and therefore you not remembering yourself. What defines you? I thought about people explaining to me who I am and what I do, but would that help me remember who I am? Me working in online marketing for a fashion company gives a little indication I am interested in fashion but what about my actual role? Does that define me?

Then if you look at my friends, do their behaviours and personalities reflect mine? What about my boyfriend? Does his personality reflect mine and give an indication of who I am? It's a strange concept but made me think more about perception. What you think you see, what you actually see and what is. Someone I know seems to have the perfect life, amazing job making lots of money, living abroad and is beautiful, in fact I've always been a bit envious of her. But I found out she is not remotely happy and is suffering from depression. In the past, I've dated guys who give you the impression they are confident, have it all, happy, secure in their jobs and I fell for them, believing and seeing all of those things. But as time went on the masks began to fade and I realised it was all an act. In fact, they were insecure and extremely unhappy. Was it there fault or mine for believing it? Were they so good at living a lie or was I so quick and desperate to believe the lie?

What people see and what actually is will always be mixed up from our own personal thoughts, experiences and interpretations. I've recently realised most people are portraying a deception to everyone around the world. Uploading all of those Instagram photos with filters trying to look more attractive, or posing with lots of money and expensive goods, when in reality you look like shit, you have far too much time on your hands to even work for the money, hence why you're wasting your time organising your goods in a specific way so that you can get a few likes. Once that's achieved, what do you do? You show off to your friends and feel great for a while and then think of your next pose/photo. Good for you. What a life some of you lead...

Perhaps I've knocked my head too hard and I am just waffling which isn't anything new but I can't help but think about these things. If I see a stranger on the train I will judge them from what I can see, hear and smell. Based on my past experiences, what I know and what I can see, I will make an opinion on you right away. My opinion of course could be completely wrong but that is just how it is. Now you right now reading this, will stop for a moment and based on your experiences and feelings at that very moment you will judge me and this post accordingly and either think you wasted your time, think I'm an idiot and disagree, think I'm clever and agree or just be blasé about the whole thing. Now is that because of what I have written or because of you and your interpretation?

I recently read that if a guy sends you flowers to your work place as a surprise, as in no birthday or anniversary, that he is cheating on you and feels guilty. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, is that how pathetic the modern day romance is? But people always see what they want to see... Now as a girl who may receive the flowers she will think she has the best boyfriend in the entire world and want to show off to her friends that she has finally found 'the one', hell she may even Instagram it. Now in reality is  love blind? Is it true that she only got the flowers because of a guilty conscience? You find someone on Twitter who has a hot picture and has many followers and you think he or she is cool. Heck you may even follow them and hope they follow you back... In reality are they just an ugly loser who sits in their room, has no life and is insecure and can only portray this amazing character via the internet. 

You see a smelly tramp on the street, avoid them like the plague and think they are a crackhead and refuse to give them your hard earned money because they'll no doubt spend it on drugs or drink. When in reality, they could be an intelligent person possibly coming from a wealthy background but somehow along the way have suffered issues unknown that has led them to that situation. You think your husband is amazing but he turns out to be gay, you think your wife is wonderful but you find out the child you raised is not yours, you pity people who have large families and little money when in reality they are happier than most wealthy people. Are you able to fully trust your senses? What about dreams, drunken nights out where you swear you remember everything but really don't and/or hallucinations? It's only until after a situation you realise the truth, when you have time to reflect. Like after a relationship or friendship you realise the things you took for granted and how much you didn't see or after a leaving job or holiday you realise all of the things you missed.

Celebrities live a life so that we idiolise them and want their lifestyle when in most cases they are unhappy and end up in rehab, bankrupt or worse. There's the political argument that the media gives us the impression that we know everything when in reality we know nothing and what we do know is what they're teaching us to know. There's an entire philosophical argument about perception and reality along with skeptisim and naive realism; a topic I find so fascinating but far too deep to get into. I could go on about this subject forever and instead of boring you to death I shall stop. 

Instead I will leave you with a few quotes I find interesting and give you the power, as the reader, to interpret it as you will; "There is no truth there is only perception" Gustave Flaubert and "The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend." Henri Bergson.

High Street Fashion Week is here and you can attend for free!

High Street Fashion Week is a new and exciting event. 

The week is for people to see the latest High Street fashion trends and an opportunity to purchase new products at a discounted price. Think of London Fashion Week, but at a more realistic price, that will not damage the purse strings.

The day's events will be held in the trendy and world's first pop-up boutique in Shoreditch Boxpark. Labels to look out for when shopping about include Myo, Roxie Sweetheart, Frills by AD, Elisha Francis, Street Princess, Zoieanne, Lilies of the Alley, Lilli-Marie, La Touche Boutique and much much more. There is also a range of vintage brands as well!

The evening will include catwalk shows in the chic Aura Mayfair club with an exclusive VIP guest-list portraying High-Street couture. E-Retailers and brands including Chic and Geek, The vintage Set and many more will strut their stuff on the catwalk.

Leah Summons, who founded HSFW, has worked in Miami Fashion Week and wanted to give the chance to small boutique owners, like herself, to show off their own personality and style.

There will be a chance to have a make-over from the team, Vanity Van, who style the runway models. The team have also been linked to styling Lady Gaga and many celebrities are predicted to be a part of the exciting week.

With lots of people admittedly shopping from the High Street, myself included, it makes sense that they finally had their own limelight.

I'll be going to the press launch and shopping about Shoreditch Boxpark during the week at some point. So see you there!

High Street Fashion Week takes place on the 22-28^th April.

To register for free tickets, visit: www.highstreetfashionweek.co.uk 

February 14th

This time last year I was asked by a number of people as to why I had not written a Blog post about Valentine’s Day. They expected something cynical or at least an opinion from me as most of my posts are about men (lack of)…. The reason why I didn’t and don’t really feel the need to, is because the day has never bothered me, in or out of a relationship.

I know girls and guys who truly worry and get depressed over the February 14th and I can safely say I am not phased by it at all. Surely, if you’re single, you should feel lonely and depressed everyday? Why should one day society/Hallmark have deemed ‘romantic’ make a difference? Birthdays, NYE and randomly wanting to talk to someone at stupid O’clock, makes me miss having someone, not a random day in February. When women are in a relationship they love the day, when they are single, they hate the day. Make your bloody mind up no wonder we're known for being crazy!

If you’re in a relationship, surely, you should feel special everyday? I wouldn’t want just one day of the whole year that reminds my boyfriend that I need to be loved or be romantic with… I think the random flowers for no reason whatsoever is true romance. Wining and dining should be a fairly frequent occurrence (money allowing) not just a cliché day that EVERY other couple is celebrating. That for me is not romantic. I am not just saying this because I am single, I’ve said this for a long time even to past boyfriends. 

I know some guys that call up a random just so they’re not lonely that night… Why? I know girls that go out and get drunk. An excuse to make a night of it and possibly find someone. Again why? It just makes no sense to me as to why people make a fuss over this day. Waste of money and stress in my opinion. 

I have to say it is awkward when you’ve just started seeing someone. There are so many dating politics! Do you wish them a ‘Happy Valentine’s day’? Do you ask them what they’re doing with the fear of looking like a psychopath? Do you have to spend lots of money on a gift etc?  The fear of romance without looking like a freak. The fear of looking ‘desperate’, ‘keen’, ‘cute’… (Sorry but what guy likes being described as ‘cute’? I don’t even like being called cute, I’m not a bloody baby!) Then there are those girls who think that when he has not made any effort, then he does not like me, which is not always true… It's all a bit confuzzling!

Basically, if you’re in a relationship… Have a great evening but I hope your partner treats you just as special everyday. If you’re single, just continue with what you're doing and have a great evening also. It’s funny because a few of my friends in relationships aren’t bothered by the day and I’m referring to the girls as well! It’s also funny that my single guy friends are bothered by it?! This is what society does to you... Who is St Valentine anyway? What is cupid?

Me? Valentine's? Well, I’ll just be doing the same old thing I always do. I don’t need one day of an entire year to feel single and lonely. It is the norm.

Happy Humping xox

Live your life..

It is my first Blog post of 2013 and some might say much anticipated. I must confess I've been anxious to post something. I wanted to talk about a topic that was funny et cool and thus realised I am not either one of those things, hence the delay.

I don't wish to start the new year morbidly but recent events have led me to strongly think about life and death. I am not going to start philosophising to you, if you wanted to read something along those lines (pun intended) I'd recommend Plato or the Bible. But it seems this time of year or just this year I keep hearing bad news. Perhaps it is because as I've got older so have the older generation (no shit Sherlock, simple mathematics). 

Last year was filled with marriage proposals and babies (no, not for me) and it got to the point of annoying. No, I do not want to see your ugly baby smiling on my Facebook newsfeed thanks. I think there was a secret ugly baby photo contest I wasn't informed about due to not being in the mummy elite club?!

But as they say, normally after births, comes death. I guess it's the circle of life (cue the Lion King theme tune) but it just doesn't seem fair. I know it's life but those nearest to me have lost loved ones and I feel helpless, as I want to do so much, but there is literally nothing I can do. No amount of words or comfort will suffice and heal their pain.

Due to these unfortunate events, I can say I've learned to appreciate every little thing now. I know it's a cliché thing to say, but for those of you who know me, know I moan a lot but I need to realise what I have is wonderful. I also think that I am not the only one guilty of this (not that it makes it right).

Everyone is always in a rush. London is known for being crazy busy, with everyone rushing around to get somewhere or other (do not get me started on TFL and my commute to work...) However, sometimes, when my ipod battery is dead or my kitten decided to chew through my headphones or I have no reception on my Blackberry. I stop, look around and realise what the hell is the rush about? We all need to slow down and just look around us. Everyone on that same journey has a life they're living and their own ups and downs. Sometimes I think the world just revolves around me, not in an arrogant way or anything, it's just that I always think about those I know, forgetting there are billions of others on this earth.

I recently went to a funeral and thought that, regardless of where we are from or what language we speak, love and death is a language that is universal. The philosophical argument whether language is innate or not and what Wittgenstein thought about logic and language popped into my head (I won't get into that but read up on him if you wish). 

There was a speech about what happens to our souls and it made me think, we get so caught up in this world that we forget that there is an entire universe and so much more out there.  Even after death, it doesn't mean that our life story is over. I really do not wish to get all religious but whatever you believe in, we are so lucky to be here and should not be egotistical and think that, this is all that exists.

For those that cannot be with us, I hope your souls are in peace. But for the rest of us, calm down, take a breather, look around and enjoy your life. Live each day like it's your last (gosh enough with the clichés already!) Don't have any regrets and for Pete's sake don't barge me on the tube because you're in a rush, I'm only small and there'll be a next one in two minutes!!

I don't know what the meaning of life is, hell if I did, I'd be a millionaire but I do know that it is what you make it. Everyone has different interpretations of what that can mean, but so long as you are fulfilled and happy then you, yourself know the meaning of your life and that is the greatest thing to know.