Chill the fuck out!

The first time I heard the phrase 'chill' was about two and a half years ago, when my friend asked a guy, she thought she was seriously dating, where they stood in their relationship and his answer simply was that they 'chill'. Not only was I surprised (and disgusted) that, that was the only explanation/definition/title he could give them, after what we assumed was serious dating, that step just before the official boyfriend/girlfriend formality. Chill. Just like the many bottles of Blossom Hill, we used to chill in the fridge before a night out, so it is quite literally chilled when we drink it.

Chill.

A simple word that gives me the chills. Who do you think you are? P Diddy chillin' in your crib? Apparently feelings, seeing each other daily, long mid-night talks and sexy time is defined as a chill. So much for chilling out on your day off. The word is now completely ruined for me.

These days there are too many labels for 'relationships' (or whatever). We question where we stand/what we are. Seeing each other? Dating? But what level of dating? Seeing others? Chilling? Casual? Boyfriend/girlfriend? Fucking? Friends with benefits? No strings attached? WHAT ARE WE?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

Now two years on, the word chill is used normally. 'Come to my house and we chill.' What are we? Penguins? I know the Antarctic weather recently has maybe led us to believe we are but last time I checked; I was actually human. You might be thinking chill the fuck out! Take a chill pill. Chill. Chill. Just chill out man. But basically, whatever phrase you wanna give it. Hook up, hang out, watch a film, keep it casual or 'casj' (seriously what is the world coming to?) oh and my ultimate favourite: link up, it basically is just a sugar coat for; come round mine, let's have dirty sex and then you can leave. 

No matter what the time is, morning, afternoon, night, it's all the same shit really. They don't really care about your problems and life but they'll be polite enough to listen (ah how sweet), you can maybe watch a film and have some nibbles, depending on how long you're staying, you can have a laugh, crack some jokes but basically he wants to casually slip it in. You can stay the night if you're lucky, he doesn't mind spooning (actually he's rather fond of it) but you have to sleep naked and not ask too many questions.

But what baffles me is when they say 'I'm just chilling with my friends', what does that mean? Chilling with another penguin or playing Fifa with the boys which I'm assuming does not include spooning... 

The irony is, each time any of these phrases are used, especially 'chill', I vomit inside (truly) and am enraged. It is the total opposite of chilling/relaxing. I don't care how sweet and polite you're asking me or how fit you are, you basically want me to come round and degrade myself for a bit, fuck you and then fuck right off. May as well put sex slave on my CV and be done with it!

Why else is a guy asking you to come to his house and chill? Think about it, if he wants to date you and get to know you, he will do just that; date you. Why does he want to spend time with you at his house when he doesn't even know you properly? How the fuck, does he know you're funny, when he's not even been out with you? It's your vagina he wants to get to know, oh and you might have a pretty face (bonus). I know, some girls are cool (forgive the pun) with this, but I guess this makes me uncool; what can I say?

Ladies if you go round to a guy's to chill but you don't actually put out (well done- give yourself a pat on the back) sometimes you're seen as a tease and a waste of time but don't think it won't happen sooner or later. You're just giving him a challenge and have suddenly become interesting. Now some effort will perhaps be made. Maybe a date (ooer get you, you lucky thang!) But like all good stories, it must come to an end. Once you have sexy time, he's gonna find someone else to chill with and leave you to melt.